Losing Her
by MoonLitHeavans
Summary: He wishes this was a dream , a nightmare, because she couldn't be dead. He couldn't lose her again. -IchiRuki-


Hey everyone it's me Moonlight. This is my first IchiRuki story ever. The summary is bad, couldn't think of anything better.Nothing much to say about it. Hmm...If i somehow mis-spelled a Japanese word just tell me.

**Spoilers: Hueco Mundo arc, Rukia's zanpukuto, so if you don't know a think about any of those things,I suggest you don't read.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach in any way or form. If I did Ichigo and Rukia would have been married by now...**

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Again and again he swung his sword, now heavy in his hands. Blood spraying across his face, screams surrounding him, all he could hear were her words echoing in his mind. In an endless cycle they played out his worst nightmare, his darkest dream.

"_Kurosaki-kun….Kuchiki-san is dead."_

Each time the words replayed themselves he could feel his heart tighten, feel himself stumble. And each time his eyes would blur, unshed tears blurring his vision. She wasn't dead, she couldn't be dead. Maybe he was in denial but the image of her smiling, happy is what's keeping him fighting. Somewhere in the back of his head, he could hear someone, Inoue maybe?, calling him. Telling him to calm down. How the -- did she expect him to calm down when it felt like the world had stopped spinning, like the world was crashing down on him?

Losing track of the battle, wounds bleeding, he was thrown to the ground. Getting up, keep fighting felt like a hopeless cause now. Maybe he would have done that earlier, kept his will to fight strong, protect those that he loved. But she had died and it was his fault. Why was he not there to save her, to protect her? Shakily he raised his sword, a feeble attempt to protect himself. Would it be better if he died here, would it stop the pain?

Closing his eyes, drowning out the screams around him, he waited for the killing blow. Seconds passed, prolonged into minutes in his mind, and he only felt a cool breeze. No, and her voice, calm and soothing rising above all the other noises.

"_Tsugi no mai, Hakuren"_

Opening his eyes he found the arrancar frozen into place. The tip of its sword just a foot away from his chest. White fragments of ice blowing in the wind reminded him that her sword was the most beautiful in Soul Society. Behind him he could hear her footsteps, light and fleeting. Slowly turning around, he stared at her face, framed by the delicate white ribbon of her sword. Violet eyes hard, staring into his own amber ones. Never blinking even when her brother walked past, going to help the fight.

This was a dream, an illusion created by his desires and fears. She would disappear when he touched her, and he would have to bear the pain of losing her again. As she sheathed her sword in one fluid motion, and began to walk towards him. Each step bought her closer to him. Oblivious to the fight around them, his eyes were only for her. She would disappear soon but he would allow himself this one last look at her. Soon he would snap out of his dream and she would be gone again.

He watched as she bent down, her kimono in shreds around her stomach, and closed his eyes when her palm made contact with his face. The stinging pain made this dream a reality and he touched a finger to his cheek feeling the heat of his flesh where she had slapped him.

"_You idiot! You could've died back then if I hadn't saved you! Did you even think about what would have happened if you had? Did you forget that you have sisters waiting for you? That your friends are back there fighting for their lives? That maybe if you had died that people will actually care?"_

Her eyes were glossy with tears, or maybe it was just him. Then she blinked and they had turned hard as stone again. Standing up she began to walk towards the others. He could hear them talking quietly, whispering to each other. More than that, he could hear himself, the storm in his head had stopped. As she walked away, he stood up and reached for her wrists. Pulling her back and twisting her into his embrace. Her felt her stiffen, he could almost see her eyes widening in surprise. Muffled by his kimono her words sounded far away.

"_I..i..ichigo?"_

Hearing her say his name lifted the weight of the world off his shoulder. Knowing that she was alive and in his arms was enough to stop the rain that had fallen unceasingly in his heart since he had heard those four words.

"_I thought that I had lost you again. Thank you for not dying, Rukia"_

In his arms he felt her relax, wrap her arms around him and smile against his chest.

"_I should be thanking you for not dying, idiot."_

Maybe it was just the weight of everyone's problems on his shoulders, but he found himself falling to his knees. Her hand trying to support his weight, she also fell to her knees. He leaned on her, burying his face into her shoulder, her silken hair brushing against his face. Tears threatened to fall, but as always they stayed unshed. Instead he screamed, the cries muffled by her shoulder, the pain in his words carried away by the wind. Finger wrapped around the loose fabric of her kimono, and knuckles turning white from the sheer strength of his grip. All the while she held him, rubbing a hand down his back, whispering words of comfort into his ears.

--Losing Her--

Watching with dejection in her eyes, a single tear slipping out, the girl feels jealousy rise in her chest. In her friend's embrace was the one that she loved, who would never love her back. That was now crying out the words:

_I had lost you again…why can't I protect you? Why?_

How she wanted to be the one holding him in her arms, to comfort him. But she knows that to her light she was a mere shadow. Always outshined in her presence. She knows this but refuses to believe it. Choosing instead to live in a world full of hope that he would one day love her, that she would be the one he would lean on for support. The one that he would protect with his life. She also knows that her hope might destroy her someday, but doesn't believe it. Turning away to heal someone she whispers his name, the wind blowing it away.

_Kurosaki-kun…. _

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That Losing Her near the end part is a separator. It used to be something else before I completely messed it up.So what did you think? I think, might just be me, that Ichigo is kinda out-of-character here. Leave a comment. I really don't care if you flame how I **wrote** the story but don't flame the story because of the pairing.

Bye-Bye!

(It blooms into a sweet flower, but bears a poisonous fruit)


End file.
